Health, Healthcare, Mental Health, Well-being, Women's Health
“Us single mothers”
“Us widows”
“Us who never married”
“Us divorced women’
I don’t apologise for writing a book for women who are in relationships and are the main earner in their home, as I know that the message in Rocking Your Role have some resonance with all women. However I do recognise that going solo has its challenges too:
1. Aloneness
Perhaps you’ve moved away from family, and your friends may have a partner and children may not be available as they once were. The numbers of middle-aged people living alone has soared according to the Telegraph
2. Money concerns
Living for today, is good when you’re working but if you haven’t planned for the future, you could experience poverty in later life and with no one to fall back on or share to burden with, its all down to you. According to Age UK research 1.7 million pensioners (14%) live below the poverty line, with incomes less than £215 per week after housing costs (AHC) for couples and £125 for single-person households.
3. Sandwich
In the UK there are 2.4 million parents juggling eldercare and childcare. You could quite easily find yourself looking after your young children, or grandchildren as well as elderly relatives. The caring can just go on and on and where are you in the equation?
4. Health
Changes in your body, such as the menopause can provide hormonal challenges, as well as keeping flexible and well. What if you’re not well who takes care of you? According to a Guardian article those aged 50 in 2011 have a 14.2% chance of seeing the year 2061 (17% of women, 11.4% of men)
5. Society
A report out in April 2013 stated that women feel ignored and lonely in Church! Maybe you feel written off by society, since wrinkles and white hair have started to appear. The UK society is geared up for couples and families, do you feel self-conscious go for a meal on your own, or perhaps you’ve stopped being invited to dinner parties because you’d make an odd number.
1. Beat the loneliness
When men are asked about their hobbies, they can reel them off; women often say that they haven’t got any, as they don’t have time. Get a hobby.
Also if you have space – get company, get a lodger, foreign student, young relative. You’ll be helping someone and your self.
2. No regrets
Take a decision to let go of what could have been. You will have to live with the choices that you have made or were thrust upon you. You have the power to make a real difference now. You can’t go back, but you can live the rest of your life in the way you wish. After all you don’t have to ask anyone’s permission!
3. Tackle Money concerns
The first thing to do is face it, don’t bury your head in the sand
There may be options to release equity
Someone may want to pay you for skill you have
Maybe you need a part-time job
Make sure that you Plan
Ask advice from an expert
4. Stuff Society
Frustratingly, just as you may be feeling most comfortable in your own skin, others start to treat you differently. Don’t let their narrow view of what a solo mature woman can achieve limit you.
How can you demonstrate how vital and alive you still are?
Show them how much you have to contribute.
Break down the stereotypes: learn to ride a motorbike, do a PhD, climb a mountain, learn to sail, go on a pilgrimage, go on a retreat, start a business.
5. Embrace happiness
I’ve heard people say that they don’t want to get old. Maturity has its merits – show people what those are.
Keep yourself healthy – no need to let yourself go
When you look good, you feel good and vice versa
I am Jenny Garrett, sought after executive coach, author of Rocking You Role, speaker, and founder of Reflexion Associates leadership consultancy.
I mentor women internationally for the Cherie Blair Foundation and was featured in the LinkedIn Top 10 Power Women list.
I work with executives and entrepreneurs one to one and in groups to help them achieve their goals and maximise performance authentically
