Health, Men's Health, Mental Health, Psychology, Well-being, Women's Health
He was a worldly, sophisticated man who swept you off your feet. In his 60’s, he is now retired and you’ve taken over the role as the breadwinner, still wanting to squeeze every last drop of life.
You are coming into your own in your career, taking on new challenges and getting to know yourself. He is left behind, especially when his whole identity was caught up in his work that is no longer present for him. On paper it sounded perfect: you’d raise the children, he’d retire and you’d take over, but what you didn’t bank on was how you’d both feel when the relationship dynamic changed.
Rose said ‘I have so much energy and want to experience so much all he wants to do is sit in watching TV and baking cakes.’
While Anne says ‘I resent him rearranging things at home, it used to be my space. He doesn’t do things as well as I would. I still need to do the shopping, he forgets so much’
These seemingly small things can drive a wedge in a relationship at the very time you had hoped it would be its most secure. Don’t underestimate the seriousness of this issue, men in the 50’s are committing suicide at an alarming rate*.
1. Connect – What do you still have in common, what can you do together that you’ll both enjoy. Perhaps you’ll always loved music, can you go to a concert or appreciate the artist in the comfort of your home?
2. Meet each other half way – perhaps it’s a friend’s birthday and they are having a meal and a party. Maybe he comes to the meal and leaves you to go onto the party?
3. Have some separate interests – expecting your partner to want to do everything you do, might not be realistic, decide what it is Ok to do separately while still loving and respecting each other.
4. Help him discover a new passion – finding a new hobby, outlet, interest would be great for his elf-esteem, it can help replace buzz that work provided
5. Remind him – how lucky he is to have a lovely young wife and remind yourself of what attracted you to him in the first place. It’s so easy to forget and take each other for granted.
I am Jenny Garrett MA sought after executive coach, author of Rocking You Role, speaker, and founder of Reflexion Associates leadership consultancy.
I mentor women internationally for the Cherie Blair Foundation and was
featured in the LinkedIn Top 10 Power Women list.
I work with executives and entrepreneurs one to one and in groups to help
them achieve their goals and maximise performance authentically.
