Health, Well-being
What would you do if I gave you that compliment?
Would you …..
a) send it straight back to me – “no, no – you look amazing, not me”
b) turn the compliment into a put down – “oh my god, you are joking aren’t you? I feel & look rubbish, I’ve been up all night with the baby/dog/husband, I think you must be seeing things”
c) dismiss it – “are you talking to me?”
d) be wary – “ok – come on, what are you buttering me up for?? what do you want?”
e) accept and flourish in it – “wow, thank you so much for noticing – tell me more!”
Well gorgeous ones, the answer is of course (e) but most of us feel uncomfortable with accepting compliments or approval, from ourselves and other people. We are much more comfortable putting ourselves down rather than giving ourselves the positive affirmation that we need. This is a sure fire way of damping our spirits and lowering our self-esteem.
Start TODAY by giving yourself permission to regularly ‘big’ yourself up for your actions and your thoughts. Be super specific and compliment more than your outward appearance. Focus on your energy levels, your inner sparkle, knowledge and personality.
When someone takes the energy and time to offer you a compliment, PLEASE, do not throw it back in their face, stop and really listen to the compliment, let it weave its way through you, then simply smile and say thank you. The more you take the time to actually really hear the compliments people give you, the more you will feel them and this, in turn, will help you to become more open to receiving compliments.
When you give out compliments, be genuine and try to stay away from the loaded “you look great, did you lose weight?” This implies that the receiver only looks good because she or he has lost weight; try to focus on the person as a whole and not just their weight. If someone does say this to you, then a great reply can go something like this “thank you, I look good because I feel good about myself, I’ve been taking care of me and it feels wonderful, thank you again for noticing.”
Once you begin to develop a stronger body image and sense of self you really start to know who you are and how you feel about yourself, so you may find that compliments from others are nice but not necessary. When we begin to nurture our “inner self” we start to glow and we naturally let go of being needy of compliments from others.
There is no time like the present, give yourself a compliment and really mean it, then share the love and compliment others.
